Especially after I decided to go for enlightenment, we separated into different bedrooms. So I slept with a sleeping bag on the floor of that room so that I could also recite the sutras in the morning, so I don’t wake him (former husband) up. It was just an excuse. I decided that we should separate and have him get used to being alone. But it was still a very big heartache for him, and for me also. But for him, it must have been more, because I had my goal, and I went for new things, but he still stayed in the same house, doing the same work, and was lonely. So, it wasn’t very right of me, but what should I have done? I probably wouldn’t be able to meet you, talk to you nowadays, if I didn’t leave home. But that doesn’t mean everyone should do that. It’s just, maybe it’s my fate; my mission demanded that so I have more concentration.
Nowadays also, if I stay alone, I concentrate better, even. If anyone else – even assistants and all that – if they’re around, running back and forth, I will also feel not the same. Living alone is good. I don’t encourage you to try it. I’m just telling you it’s like that. It’s also more free. You don’t have to worry about what you wear or when you need to take a bath or not. If you don’t, then OK, tomorrow you can take a bath. I haven’t taken a bath for a long time already. I truly don’t have time, and now, in the wilderness, it’s very difficult to get a lot of water for a bathtub. It’s kind of a luxury. You can’t have it.
So if you really want to be in the wilderness alone, please rethink it. I’m happy. I don’t feel uncomfortable or anything, but you might not be as comfortable, because you’re used to comfort. You go next door; you have a bathroom; you go next door, you have your kitchen. In the wilderness, you don’t have all that. There’s not anything ready for you. But I don’t mind because I work too hard. I don’t have time for too many things. I don’t know why I get more and more work nowadays, because I also have to search for more news and also have to read the news from my team in order to see which ones are worthy to air for you so that you are informed of the situation of our world.
And by the way, you know President Trump was voted again for a second term to be the President of the United States of America. I hope Heavens will continue to protect Him. I do what I can, of course, but He has had attempts by people on His life quite a few times. Even recently, after the election, He still had one case of an attempted assassination that was reported on the news.
Oh my God, after He got elected by many votes, I sighed a big, big sigh of relief. But still, the relief is just temporary. I’m still worried for Him. If you care, you also send Him some energy of protection and love. That guy, He really deserves it. He’s 78 already, and He’s still trying so hard! He works so hard like that. I don’t know if when I’m 78, I can work that hard. But, of course, He’s a big boy, and a man. Women, we are meeker, weaker in the physical build, physical frame.
I think I just worry too much about many people, but only important people – not because they are in an important position, but because their mission is important. Their mission is to protect some part of the world, or the world with peace, with harmony between nations, and with the economy for their country – America especially – and also for the world. So I do worry about the people of America, especially the government and some people who are responsible for the country. Also, because Americans are very generous. Their donations are more than any other country that I remember. I think they donate the most in the world for good causes.
And I saw many also rescuing animal-people and being kind to animal-people a lot in America as well. They are not even vegan; many just rescue animal-people with love. And it touches me to tears any time I see that. I always say, “Bless you, bless you.” Because the animal-people’s suffering makes me suffer so much – so much pain, so much pain. Of course, we have a lot of suffering in the world already, and in hell and all that. And if our world does not become any better, then I have pain all the time, still – every day, every time. Every time I remember, I try to forget, because I need to also work. I work on what I can; and what I cannot, then I just have to leave it aside and pray for them only. Otherwise, if my mind is occupied all the time with suffering, then I think I will collapse.
I’ll do what I can and do it for as long as possible. I still have enough finances for that. It’s just that I lost some of the savings. But that doesn’t matter. That means I don’t need to buy any more new houses for the workers, for the Supreme Master Television team, for example, because they’ve spread to different places now. We can’t concentrate in one place, just in case, just to keep it safe so that we can continue. But if I don’t have my own savings, private savings, then I just don’t buy. So, for me, I don’t need to buy. I can just live in a small motel or even in a tent or in a forest, so no problem. I’m a big girl, I can take care of myself. It’s just that if we have a team, like many people, then they can’t just live in a tent and be working.
There are many things we need as humans, especially when you have to work like the way they do. Even if they stay in a safe place with a comfortable life – as comfortable as I can give them – and if they have good meals and all that already, but I still feel very sorry for them. Sometimes I think of them and I cry, and honestly, I thought I should shut down the Supreme Master Television, so that they can just retire, meditate, and enjoy a little bit of their life left. I just thought about that – tempted only – but at the moment, not. We will not close Supreme Master Television yet. I just feel like that. I feel sorry for them, because you don’t know. Often we work all night, and in the morning we have to wake up at six o’clock to meditate. And then at night, meditate until 10 o’clock, at least, and continue to work again.
And some of the team have to be away from the bigger team. They have to cook or buy things for themselves. If they have somebody to buy for them, then it’s lucky, of course, it’s good. But nobody cooks for them. They have to cook for themselves and take care of the house that I bought for them there and do all kinds of things. And I call them after midnight, two o’clock, three o’clock. It depends on the shows. Some shows need to be corrected or to redo some part of it, or some addition, or correction, etc. And then it doesn’t matter what time, doesn’t matter what time. I have to be ready and they have to be ready all the time. And for me, of course, I deserve it. I say to myself, “You deserve it.” But they do not deserve it.
I feel like they follow me because they trust me. And then I make them work so hard. I feel like it’s not right. But what am I to do? I don’t have that many team members either. I wish I could have more in-house, nearby, working together. But thank God that we also have remote workers who are also excellent in doing their jobs and also absolutely devoted to the mission of God and to helping the world to stay afloat at least. Because there are so many disasters nowadays. I can’t stop them all. I can stop some but not all, because the karma can be minimized but cannot be completely erased. It depends on what karma, of course, but the karma of the world is so heavy, so heavy, so heavy. The Buddha said already even one person’s karma can cover the whole sky, not to talk about the whole world’s karma. And nowadays, we’re so far away. People are so very far away from spiritual, moral standards. I have to say that I’m so sorry, so sorry to look at the world and see that hope is so very thin.
Of course, we work as hard as we can. The Heavenly Workers and I, myself, in the name of God, under the Grace and Merciful God’s Protection and Love, we are working very hard. But every time I think of how hard my team works day and night, and they have no fun, nothing. They don’t even have time to watch movies or anything. Only once before I watched a movie with them, Merlin, because it concerned our work as well. Otherwise, we don’t have time for anything like that anymore, nothing. And I feel very sorry for my team people, even the remote people. They also have family. They have husbands, wives, children and some business even, or working outside, and they still help. Instead of free time, where they could go out and watch movies together or have a fun picnic somewhere, they just work with me, with the team, with us, with all of us, the in-house team and me.
I’m forever grateful to God for such luck I have in this lifetime, that I have such good people, talented souls and such good hearts, so willing to sacrifice private, physical comfort for the good of all in the world. I’m so ever grateful. May God bless you so. And I love you forever. I love you forever. And you know I mean it. I just don’t know how else I can help you. Please write to me again, whenever, if you need anything, truly need. And I’ll see what I can do.
Photo Caption: Live Abundantly Through Time and Space
